Posts Tagged ‘sweets’

An open letter of complaint to Swizzels-Matlow

Posted 21 Sep 2011 — by admin
Category Uncategorized

Dear Messers Swizzel and Matlow

I have just opened one of your Swizzels-Matlow Double Lollies Dip. I was quite enjoying a bit of retro sweet goodness when I happened upon across a sugar encrusted long brunette hair, not the sort of thing you expect to find in an item of confection.
I am positive that this object was already in the packet before opening for two reasons, firstly I caught it on the lolly after several dips. It was evenly covered in sherbet, not what I would expect if it had just dropped in. Secondly, and more importantly, the last time I had a hair that long to drop in my food was in about 1992, things have been a little thin and cut short up there since then.
Being a man of a certain age blessed with a sweet tooth I am quite a fan of your sweet products but I feel a little disappointed on this occasion to find that the quality doesn’t live up to the qualityI expect from Swizzels-Matlow.
I have place the aforementioned item in a plastic bag and am storing it just incase you require any evidence of my claim. I trust that you will consider my complaint carefully and find a way to restore my faith in the quality of products and cleanliness of your production line that might, say, involve a large box of sweets or a voucher of a reasonable value.
Feel free to contact me at the details listed above if you require any further details of this awful incident.

Yours
Simon (40)

 

 

*UPDATE*

‘Lost in the post’ isn’t a phrase that you hear that often but it seems that my delightfully crafted message that was submitted through the Swizzels Matlow website went missing. I subsequently emailed my linguistic gift to them and got the following reply almost immediately.

My beautifully crafted complaint seemed to have been lost on them but I will be sending them the offending item in their SAE for examination. I trust that they will do a full DNA test on the hair but will have to excuse the sticky lolly enclosed.

I will await their results with baited breath, toothpaste and floss.

—–

Dear Simon

Thank you for your e-mail received today.  We are very sorry that you have had cause for complaint about the Double Dip you purchased recently.

Unfortunately we are not in receipt of your original e-mail, however, in order to progress this matter as soon as possible, could you please forward your full mailing address so that we can send you  a Freepost envelope for return of the product for a thorough investigation.

Please be advised that on completion of these investigations we will respond to  you in writing.

We look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours sincerely

SWIZZELS MATLOW LIMITED

 

…and in with the new

Posted 11 Dec 2009 — by admin
Category confectionery, Uncategorized

I’ve had time to re-evaluate my Sherbet Fountain and rewrite the review that WordPress so rudely ate. So hear for your viewing pleasure is what I thought of the new style Sherbet Fountain…

I’m sat here in front of the new style Sherbet Fountain with some trepidation. Every tube in the box was the same like a row of yellow suited soldiers. Gone are the straggly sticks of liquorice sticking from the top of the paper wrapped packaging. The only reminder that there is some liquorice within is a strange black nipple that protrudes from the top of the outer shrink wrapped skin. Am I selling it to you ‘cos it looks oh so tasty…NOT!
On to opening, or un-boxing as my geeky friends might have it! There is a simple instruction to ‘open’ which I never really needed before because getting into a Sherbet Fountain always seemed like second nature; but it’s directing me to twist the top so here I go… not much happened. I tried to twist but the plastic cover slipped under my fingers. A tighter grip might be required so I’ll try once more… and it gives and the top twists between my finger but it requires a good pull before the lids comes away from the main tube.
Now I’m in and the black nipple on the outer casing implies that it is supporting a nice long black liquorice tube, which it’s not. The liquorice is still there but it sits a little way down the tube and not where you are expecting it to be. Should I shout trades descriptions now? The contents look familiar, or as familiar as they do now I can see them. With a classic Sherbet Fountain I don’t thing I was ever forced to see the contents, I just ripped the top off and attacked the innards, now I can see the fresh packed contents in all of their glory and what glory they are. On the up side, the liquorice looks soft because it’s not been exposed to the elements for lord knows how long. The sherbet itself looks powdery and not caked together like I’d expect in the old school packaging so this, I would think, is a good thing. Only the taste and eat experience will decide.
In my own usual style I will remove the liquorice first and devour that. I was never one for dipping with a fountain, it’s definitely two separate eating experiences for me! The liquorice comes away easily but doesn’t exhibit the freshness I’d expected. I am happy to report that it is just as straggly from top to bottom as I’d hoped and it’s also agreeably chewy too. It disappears quickly and happily and I now consider the sherbet itself, the main attraction if you will.
My main concern is that somewhere along the line something other than the packaging has suffered the fate of change. So far the liquorice has passed the taste test and now it’s the turn of the sherbet. I am expecting it to be much the same as the original but with a lighter feel due to it not being all packed together and verging on a solid sweet rather than powder. The initial sensation of tipping it in my mouth out of a plastic container is a little strange. Years of chewing paper and card is an acquired taste but one that I have acquired and now miss. I have come to terms with the fact that I will have to get used to this new lip sensation and I’m not overly offended but it will take a while! The powder within the tube feels a lot lighter on the tongue and what I notice immediately is that it tastes not like the old Sherbert Fountain sherbet but more like the lemony flavour of a Sherbet Dip Dab. Actually now its had a chance to settle there is a lemon Jif/Cif air to it and that can’t be a good thing. No wonder I was never a fan of the Dip Dap, even with its tempting red lolly! The light and fluffy nature of the sherbet is proving a problem because it seems to fly out of the tube a lot easier than its predecessor leaving a powdery residue on my sweatshirt which, working Shoreditch, makes everyone around me think I’ve spilt my Columbian marching powder. This, I can assure you, is not the case!
All things said and done I am enjoying the new experience even if the taste is a little odd. I feel less likely to accompany this new concoction with a Diet Coke (TM) for fear of internal explosion. There seems to be a more active nature to this recipe that should probably not be messed with. The new packaging allows me to pop the lid back on and store it safely in my pocket without the fear of trying to empty a load of sherbet from my clothing before it hits the washing machine. You can imagine the carnage! My Sherbet Fountain is often used as a energy booster when I’m cycling. It gives about 5 minutes of power 30 seconds after a healthy swig incase you wanted to know. The new tube will make it a lot easier to apply the power boost without covering myself in a cloud of confection.
A real and more serious concern about the packaging is it’s environmental impact. The old packaging was completely recyclable if not recycled. I know have an environmentalists dilemma. This packaging looks like I can do something else with it but I’m not sure what. I could put coins in it or convert it into a flashlight… now that sounds like a good idea! But why did they have to make something that I’m going to feel back about throwing away rather than re-using. How many flashlight do I need? Any orders?
So overall I’m pleasantly surprised but still yearning for the feel of cardboard against my teeth. Perhaps I’ll have to get my cardboard fix elsewhere from now on!